Time Travel and Teacups
by We-have-problems
Summary: What happens when Ciel time travels into the future into the house of a crazy fangirl? There will be plenty of crossovering and crazy crap, have fun reading! Btw: This is complete and utter crack, don't take this seriously. Will contain: Doctor Who, Ouran High School Host Club, Black Butler, Harry Potter, and other random crap.
1. Prologue

**Disclaimer: Not mine!**

**Prologue **

Ciel Phantomhive sat in a chair, focusing intently in front of him. His blue eyes narrowed and for a second he looked as fearsome as death itself. A look of utter concentration pasted itself on his face, nothing else in the world mattered anymore. With a SNAP! a sword cut him in half.

"DAMN YOU!" He yelled.

"SHUT UP! I have a job and playing Titanfall at..2:00 in the morning won't improve matters," A girl yelled from the other room. "If you don't get in bed right now I will eat you and have no regrets."

"Fine, I'll be turning off the Xbox now..." He turned the Xbox off and went into the bedroom he was currently staying in. The minute he got into bed he started playing on his iphone.

Ciel was reflecting upon how fortune had led him to this glorious instant in time where the internet existed, and Gemma got him contacts. He couldn't wait to see Sebastian's face when he returned. If Grell ever came to this time, he would love the transvestite bars.

Right now you are probably thinking, really? Are you sure you are talking about THE Ciel Phantomhive, the one with the Faustian Contract with a demon. And he's in my apartment because yes.


	2. Chapter One: Why Roses are Evil

**Disclaimer: This is not mine! **

**Chapter One: Why Roses Are Evil**

_**(For those idiots that can't figure it out bold is **_**Gemma** _**and Italics is **__Emily__**)**_

Earl Ciel Phantomhive, 13 years old sat in his office, looking an across at a terrified business man.g across from him looked as pale as death. Ciel had a cold, calculating look on his face that no one could read. After a few minutes he quietly called out," Sebastian."

The strange butler appeared almost at once and said, " Yes, young master?"

_Sebby is a pedophile! I am so glad we changed this later on…._**SPOILERS! WHO Alohomora-ED YOUR TRAP DOOR OF A MOUTH? **_Shut up! YOU'RE NOT RIVER SONG! _**I FAIL TO SEE THE CONNECTION! **_You will, SPOILERS! _ **OH! I get it. Duh. I'm a dumbass. But so are you, so that makes it better. **_BACK TO PLOT NOW!_

"Why don't you escort this...guest to the door, I'm sure he has had his fill of the Phantomhive estate."

The man started to tremble, and he had reason. 30 minutes later he emerged from the house, screaming at Sebastian Michaelis," What are you? Who?"

"Sir," he replied with a serene smile on his face," I am merely one hell of a butler."

The rest of the day was boring, Mey-Rin broke priceless objects, as usual, and Bardroy blew up the kitchen...again. Finny seemed content with riding Pluto around the yard. It was a normal day, but of course, Ciel Phantomhive never has a normal day.

The rose garden was in full bloom, the many red and white flowers blending together in the sunny afternoon. He decided to take a walk. He wandered through the rows, until the bushes got higher and higher, finally he was in a sort of maze. He turned around to go back, but found the way blocked by thorns.

Annoyed now he took off his eyepatch and called out,"Sebastian!" There was no effect, so Ciel did the only thing he could do, he waked ahead.

_Ciel is such an idiot...why didn't he turn back at this point? _**1) There wouldn't be a story if he did and 2) I WANNA MEET HIM DAMMIT 3) He would never have met someone as amazing and smoking HAWT as me. Kidding. About the hotness. **_I can see that, for a second there I thought you were giving yourself too much credit _**(That's YOUR job)**_, and we really need to stop interrupting the story..._

Soon he had reached a clearing, and in it stood a woman, she had midnight blue hair and was wearing a white gown. Her face held traces of agony, but she wore a serene expression, like she was...content.

When she spoke her voice was as delicate as an ice crystal, but whimsical as a summer breeze," Ciel, darling, I have waited so long for you to arrive."

" What do you what? I cannot form contracts with you."

" You assume me a demon? I am fate's messenger, and fate wants you to..change and live a true life."

" So what is 'fate' going to do. All I have to do to annihilate you is to call my demon."

" You must know by now that you are beyond your realm."

" .."

" My time is running short, I must deliver you to your fate, good luck don't die."

With that she disappeared in a massive swirl of roses and sparkles, their petals broke off and began swirling around Ciel in a massive whirlwind, obscuring his vision. The last thing he thought before he blacked out was," This always happens to me."

_OMG! Tamaki is behind it all! The rose petals and sparkles give it away! _**Where Tamaki is, the host club is not far. AND THAT MeanS TwIns! **_This is an unhealthy obsession. _

**Gemma POV**

I am a what others describe as a 'problem child'. At eighteen I was anime obsessed and had a bad habit of dying my hair a different color every week. This week it was teal. I frequently got into fights at school over 'trivial things', such as beating people to a pulp, and stealing their money.

_God, you make yourself sound like a badass, really guys she's just a cute fluffy bunny under that hardass exterior. _**I"M CUTE?! SINCE WHEN? THIS IS NEWS TO ME! I HAVE BOOBS, NOT A CUTE FACE. THAT'S WHY GUYS LIKE ME BETTER THAN YOU! Also you're a bitch. **_Shut Up! I get hit on by more guys than you do! Boobs aren't everything! _**They're very important though. And, No you really don't. You scare more guys than I do! **_Meh, not like we have any hot guys friends anyway…._**We bullied them all away then Meg threw a fit. ** _I know right, they were all just dicks, hot dicks, but still dicks._**They weren't hot. Bibble is a walking bowl of pudding and John is a rolling fish bone. **_We are off track again….how we get from topic to topic I will never know. _**It's a great ability though. Really useful when we are told to do stuff that boring people do. Like chores. or hw. Or guys. **

I was sitting on the roof, one of my favorite pastimes, when a stranger literally dropped out of the sky. I've done some pretty weird things, but drugs were a no zone, so I disbanded hallucination. Upon closer inspection I saw that he had on weird Victorian era clothes, blackish blue hair, 4 inch heels ( what kind of kid wears those?), and..eyepatch!

Being obsessed with anime had its perks, like now. I checked my brain again and stared open mouthed at this boy. He was a carbon copy of Ciel Phantomhive. I tried to poke him awake, and he finally woke up.

"What's your name?" I asked hesitantly.

"Earl Ciel Phantomhive, I wish to be given a carriage at once back to Phantomhive Manor."

I did the only thing I could do.

I said," Holy shit!" Then punched him in the face. Smooth, smooth, best way to meet your lifelong anime hero. Punch him in the face. Smooth.

" Ooh shit!" I knocked Ciel Phantomhive unconscious. I stared at him, taking in his height and estimating his weight. Deciding I could probably carry him, I picked him up. Immediately dropping him.

I try to think of what to try next when his eyes flutter open and he gets up angrily.

"Do you know what you just did?"

"Sorry for hitting you... Maybe?"

" O my gosh you're a girl! Crossdresser!"

**Ignorant Ciel. **_Really? Remember when Ciel dressed up as girl for Count Druitt….he really has no right to talk..._

I looked down at myself, I was wearing jeans and a Doctor Who t-shirt, nothing too crazy, then I face palmed myself. In his era woman wore big poofy dresses and such.

"Look at what you're wearing! Then go read a fashion magazine! It's 2013 for crying out loud!" I snort and cross my looks at me like I'm insane. Which I kinda am… But thats beside the point! He blinks.

"Ooooh Shit." He puts his head in his hands. " A lot of shit has happened to me, but time travel?"

I try to be comforting by patting his shoulder and saying,"It's fucked up shit."

"And I'm stuck here with a lunatic!" He shouts.

"Do you want me to hit you again!" He stands up and stumbles, heading for the edge of the roof. I reach out, grab his arm, and lean back. Somehow managing to stop both of us falling off the roof.

"That would hurt…" I mumble. I pull him back up and look him in the eye, just the one, cause the eyepatch. "You're gonna be stuck here a while, so just come down stairs, kay?" I let go of his hand and walk towards the roof door and turn around," Unless you want to sleep up here?" He starts after me. And we make our way down to my flat.

**Gemma POV:**

"This is where you live?" Ciel looks at me.

"Shut up. This is the best an eighteen year old girl can get! It's better than a studio." I pout. He shakes his head. I live in a two floor flat, but each floor is no bigger than a studio.

"What's your name?" He asks.

"Seven hundred years, finally he asks!"

"What?"

"Doctor Who quote."

"Doctor WHAT?"

"No, Doctor WHO."

"What?"

"Nevermind. My name is Gemma, btw." I walk over to the TV and turn it on. "Oh Goody!" I say, "Doctor Who is on next!" I get up to make popcorn. I run back to the living room while it's in the microwave.

"Do you want to change?" I ask.

"What?"

"I have some clothes upstairs you could wear. I bought them a while ago, just in case a guy needed a change of clothes, you'd be more comfortable…" I think how he can't dress himself. "It's just some sweat pants and a t-shirt."

He gets this expression like, "What the hell?"

"Sure," He says. I run upstairs and grab them.

"You can change in there," I say and point to the door in the corner. It's my bedroom, but whatever. He goes in and I sit down. _Ciel Phantomhive is in my flat!_ I think. _Calm down!_ I start breathing hard. I put my head in my hands. _Breathe, you know, not like a tired dog! _I look up at the TV to see which episode was playing. It was "Doomsday," the one where Rose gets transported to another universe.

"Ah crap!" I say loudly.

"What?" Ciel asks, coming out of my bedroom. He managed to get the clothes on properly.

"The episode." I point at the TV.

"So?"

"It's a sad one!" I whine.

"So don't watch it!"

"It doesn't work like that!"

"Then watch it!"

"Listen to you." He facepalms himself. I try to think of reason not to watch it, to save myself from crying in front of Ciel. Suddenly, a thought pops into my head.

"Are you going to stay here?"

"Do I have any other choice?"

"Do you have any money with you?"

"No"

"Then you're staying here." I turn off the TV.

"I thought you were going to watch that."

"Since you're staying here, you're gonna watch Doctor Who from the beginning!" turn on netflix and select DW. "Starting right now."

**Gemma POV**

It's been three days since Ciel arrived. And, since we have nothing else to do, we've been watching Doctor Who. Hey, that rhymed! Anyway, we're up to the twenty-seven planets. The one that was on TV the other night. And well… IT'S AT THE FREAKING END! And I'm on the floor crying.

"ROOOOOOSE!" I scream, Ciel is on the couch hugging a pillow.

"NO!" He yells, "That can't be how it ends!" I have to bite my lip in order not to spoil it when she comes back.

"And I suppose, if it's my last chance to say it… Rose Tyler…" I quote. I climb back up on the couch, sobbing.

"Then...then he...fades away!" I really want to hug him. He isn't crying, and not angry. Almost to the point past crying. I just sit there, sobbing my eyes out, over a TV show. But the best fuckin TV show ever!

"I t-think thats enough DW for tonight." I say shakily and turn off the TV. He just nods. It's only been three days. He's already dressing like a modern kid, and he likes DW, but other than that, he's relatively the same as he is in the manga. He hasn't actually questioned how I know about him, but it's better that way. He'd be totally creeped out if I showed him the manga and the anime. Actually, I wonder what his reaction would be…

I look up at the clock,"Oh crap!" I say and stand up quickly.

"What?" Ciel questions.

"I have work tomorrow! And it's two in the morning!" I rub my face. "I have to get up at eight, I still have six hours. But I'm going to bed." I walk into my room and close the door.

**Ciel POV**

I watch as she walks into her room, when she closes the door, I lay on the sofa. I think about everything that has happened. Fate transported me to 2013, I meet crazy Gemma, and worst of all, ROSE WAS TRANSPORTED TO ANOTHER UNIVERSE. Oh, and I don't know how to get home. But, truthfully, I don't want to leave. Back in my time, I would never take a break. I would be constantly working, whether it was for my company's interests, or her majesty the queen's. But here, I can just relax, and be a kid. And forget all the shit in my normal life. I think what my servants must be doing, the other three are idiots, so they might not have noticed yet. Sebastian… well, I can't predict him. What if he broke the contract?

I walk over to a mirror on the wall and take off the eyepatch. The mark is still there… I'm not quite sure if I'm happy about that though. I sigh loudly. I walk back over to the sofa and close my eyes. I lay like that for a while till I heard a loud bang from Gemma's bedroom.

"FUCK IT!" I hear her yell. She walks out of her room wearing a tank top and cotton shorts. "I can't sleep. I'm just gonna call in sick tomorrow."

"What do you do for work?"

"I do."

"What?!" I stare at her, thinking about prostitutes, until she laughs. I realize she wasn't being serious.

"I'm a waitress at Applebee's." She says still giggling.

"Back in my time we don't make jokes like that."

"Yes, grandpa." she sighs. I don't understand. She facepalms herself. "Do you want breakfast?" She asks.

"It's two thirty in the morning." I say.

"Thank you, captain obvious. But that wasn't the question."

"Are you cooking?"

"Duh."

"Fine, sure." I haven't had her cooking yet. She just got "take out", as she called it, the past three days. She springs up and runs to the kitchen, and trips on the way there. She lands with a loud thud. I'm starting to question my decision…

**Gemma POV**

I get out all the ingredients for a lovely ...strawberry tart and make some earl grey tea. I peek out of the kitchen and Ciel is sitting at the table looking totally innocent, so I immediately hatch an evil plot.

When the tea and tart is done I put it in the fanciest platter I own and carry it out to him all fancy with one hand. I place it down in front of him and say," Today young master we have France's best treacle strawberry tart and India's finest earl gray tea."

I don't get the reaction I was expecting. "You are stalking me! You can't deny it now."

"What...?" Oh *facepalm* He doesn't know..manga...anime, I guess I would seem a big stalkerish. " No..look.."

He screams loudly and grabs the nearest item, the tart and chucks it at my face. I gape at him, did Ciel Phantomhive just through a cake at me? I stare at him for 10 seconds before grabbing the rest of the cake and chucking it at him. Then I run back to the kitchen for more ammunition. He just declared a food fight with me. He will die.

**2 hours later**

My fridge had been reduced to an empty vessel and my poor couches were on their sides, serving as places to hides from the food onslaught from every side.

In the first five minutes it had been okay, we were just throwing oranges at each other in the kitchen, then Ciel found eggs, and I found pudding. It went downhill from there.

He threw food all around my room and soon I tripped and toppled over my couch, but found it a very convenient hiding place from a demonic Ciel and eggs.

I try to escape, but I only succeed in stubbing my toe," Fuck! I declare a truce!"

He pokes his head out from under the couch and he looks so cute that if I was in an anime my eyes would be all sparkly and teary. " Will you tell me how you know the most ungodly details about my life?"

I can't help it, I laugh. "Your so...innocent! But yeah, sure. You were bound to find out anyway." I go over to my closet in my room and yank it open where I have his all my Black Butler manga, (I think the anime would ruin him), and he gasps. "People..in this future...know...?"

"No, in this future your. Just a cartoon, like Doctor Who, but not as popular."

"I'm a cartoon?!"

"Albeit a cute one...did I just say that aloud?"

His face become a bit less shocked and he chuckles," yah, you did...could you leave be alone for a bit so I can read this pile of fuck?"

"Sure..." I leave for the other room.

He didn't come out at all throughout the evening, and seeing as he was in my room, I just grabbed a pillow and a blanket from a pile in the corner. I lay on the couch, immediately falling asleep.

**~Dream~**

I was laying on the ground, my head pounding. I murmured something inaudible as I sat up. I looked around to observe my surroundings. I was in a flower garden. And I mean FULL OUT flower garden. There were 8 ft tall hedges covered in flowers. Flowers all over the ground. There was no path. I stood up and started walking along the hedges, trying not to squish the flowers. After what seemed like a few hours, I reached where the hedges ended, I looked out at the field of flowers. It seemed to go on forever. So, in short, it looked EXACTLY like Howl's garden from **Howl's Moving Castle. **I screamed and started fangirling all over the place.

I curled up on the ground, breathing hard. Then, realizing I could be about to meet Howl, I stood up and straightened myself out. I wish I had a mirror, and some makeup, and maybe a dress from Ciel's time….

"Hello," A voice said. Turned around quickly. I put on my mysterious, flirty smile. Then saw a woman, I went red.

"You're not Howl…" I say, embarrassed. She laughs. The sound is like a cascade of falling class.

"No, I am not Howl. I am a messenger of fate, and I have something to discuss with you." I look around at all the flowers, it IS the garden from HMC but, thats a movie. It isn't real, is it?

"No, it's not real. I took this scene from your heart, as to calm you so we may speak properly"

"I see." I sound a little dejected. I look up at this woman. She was tall and skinny. Her hair was pure white, her eyes… her eyes are multiple colors at once, shifting and changing. She wore a flowing white tunic. Over all, she was kinda mesmerizing… She waved her hand, and a table with a tea set on it appeared.

"Sit down," she said. I did so, knowing it was a command. A tea cup filled itself up with tea. Two cubes of sugar plopped into the tea of their own accord, and the milk poured and mixed itself. It was strange.

"I'm guessing this has something to do with Ciel?'' I asked.

"Yes,"

"You sent him to me?"

"Yes,"

"To me specifically?"

"Yes."

"Why?! I'm grateful and all but he was kinda miserable, it took a lot to cheer him up!"

"He needed you"

"Thats not an answer!" she sighs.

"Ciel… well he is a troubled boy. Growing up far too fast then he should be. He needs to just sit back and be a kid."

"So who better to send him to than me? Ya, I got that. But why is fate concerned with one kid?"

"Two."

"What?"

"Two kids. Fate is concerned with both Ciel and you."

"Me?"

"You."

"But, I'm just a normal teenage girl with a few quirks!"

"We both know that isn't quite the case." I stared at her. How could she possibly know? I haven't told anyone! The secret died with them… But...fate?

**Gemma POV:**

Did I feel bad? Maybe, just a little. I had corrupted poor innocent Ciel's mind. Why did I show him a wii? Why? He almost threw up when he saw the CielxSebastian fan base. Let's not even mention Harry Potter, he is now officially obsessed. Or Sherlock, or the internet….Ciel and the internet….

Right Now I was trying to convince him the Victorian era was alright.

"No! Why...I am scarred."

At least he was acting a bit more modern now...he didn't call me a cross-dresser anymore. I also got him into jeans and a t-shirt, when I saw how cute he looked I just about melted in a pile a fangirl. I don't love like him, I like him as a little brother sort of way.

Today he was wearing a Kuroshitsuji t-shirt (ironic right?) and a black pair of jeans. And now that he had two normal eyes, because of the contacts, he could pass as any thirteen year old.

I knew he liked it here, but I knew that he would have to leave soon. I decided to tell him about fate so I asked him to come sit with me in the living room.

"Look Ciel, I've had a visit from fate, literally and I..you have to go back in two days."

He jumped up and looked alarmed," What? I don't want to go back! I want to stay here, not get married at fourteen and run a company. I like being ME. I am not going back."

"You have to, there is a force much more dangerous than anything you have ever seen before back in the 1800s, and I can't stop fate."

"We'll in that case I am going to surprise the world with the new Ciel Phantomhive. I have to get ready now. I am going to need a solar powered charger, not leaving without an extensive supply of iPods, IPhones, computers and my precious Xbox. I am also going to need a taser and...I tell you the rest later."

We spent the rest of the day getting all of the necessary supplies, and he looked glumly at the frilly suit and asked for more jeans and t-shirts. We packed his whole wardrobe. I also bought him like, 20 new pairs of converse.

"Do you think I can Skype you from the past? Because if I can I will not let you live unless you consistently show me Doctor Who, and when Sherlock comes back on we will have a marathon. Promise not to forget me."

"How could I? You're my long-lost brother."

We slept woke up and soon a knock on the door resounded. I knew who it was, I opened it up and saw one of fate's nessengers, a girl with dark midnight blue hair.

"Is he ready?"

"Yes, but can...I go with him, he's going to need my help. Someone to relate to."

"If you so wish," she said then a bag with all my clothes appeared next to me. I grinned and rushed over to Ciel.

"I get to meet Sebastian, tell him not to kill me."

"What?"

"I coming with you!"

"Really? Oh my gosh, yah, praise the Doctor!"

"The Doctor? Seriously."

"No, I'm not Sirius."

"Haha, hope you don't mind sharing the tech."

She then looked at both of us and smiled a bit, "I see you need the internet Ciel, so I grant you power to connect to the modern world from the internet."

Ciel started dancing and accidentally bumped into her.

She looked rather annoyed, and with a wave of her hand I was enveloped in roses.

**OoOoOoOo**

**Author's Note: Me and Gemma kinda wrote this, and we have no idea what we were on...this is crack...do you like it?**


	3. Chapter Two: Emily's Discretion

**DISCLAIMER: NOT MINE! WHAT DO YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN TO THE FANDOMS IF I OWNED THEM?**

**Chapter Two: Emily's Discretion **

**Ciel POV**

I came to and, seriously, I am not supposed to get used to time travel. I looked around. I was back at the manor, a ways off I saw Gemma. I motioned for her to stay, so Sebastian wouldn't go all demon on her and started forward.

When I reached the house I knocked, it felt weird, knocking the door to my own house, but it seemed so...outlandish and extravagant, it didn't seem right to barge in.

The door creaked open and Mey-Rin opened the door, when she saw me she gasped and ran away yelling, young master! Young master!

Almost immediately I saw a shadow in the corner and I saw the red eyes glinting from it. Crap, I still didn't have a good reason to where I was.

"Young Master," Sebastian said," where have you been, I couldn't even tell where you were, I feared you he broken the contract.." He looked at my eye and for a split second shock flashed across his face before him asking," the contract?" It was almost phrased as a question, but it was a demand.

" I have found a way to hide it, nothing more."

"Yes, young master."

" Aggh! I can't take it anymore, call me young master one more time and I will make you go on a date with the reaper named Grell."

He looked green, but I continued," Call everyone," Mey-Rin showed up first with Finny and Bard in tow," Okay, so I don't like you being all...formal and shit so just call me Ciel or something, and Sebastian, I can dressed by myself, thank you."

They all looked shocked and probably thought I was crazy, but I wasn't going to sit here and be all old fashioned. Next though, I had to get Elizabeth over here, I was not marrying my cousin for god's sake. I instinctually went to grab my phone, before I remembered that I didn't have cell reception.

"Damn laws of nature," I said and dismissed everyone including Sebastian.

Ciel decided the laws of nature weren't all that important, and he defied them and call Gemma on his cellphone. "The right state of mind makes anything possible". _**(**_ _**Gemma)**_

Gemma answered "Sup bitch? Miss me?"

"You can come to the manor now….Ms. Gemma..."

"NOOO! DON'T GO ALL FORMAL ON MY ASS CIEL! YEAH! IMMA PACK SOME SHIT THEN ILL BE OVER THERE SOON SIT TIGHT!" The phone clicked and she was gone. Kinda.

Ciel was truly worried for the world at this point **(*ACHOO* Sorry. I'm allergic to bullshit.)** rather quickly, the doorbell rang. He opened it, and there stood Gemma….and three reapers. Grell, Will, and Ronald.

"I came prepared to troll!"

Then Sebastian ran back out into the room, and looked at Ciel wide eyed, "My- Ciel," he changed the name once he say Ciel's glare, "what are the reapers and this girl doing here?"

Gemma then proceeded to yell at Sebastian. "How dare you! You dare address your master in such an informal way! How could you call yourself a butler! You useless piece of shit!"

**I regret nothing. **_You do, just think of what Sebastian is like now, and you will feel bad. Right now he is kind of a dick though…._ **I didn't know about Ciel's orders. Otherwise I would have just hug attacked him 'cause smexy Sebby is smexy. **_You are bipolar….._

Sebastian fled into the corner in tears…and started growing mushrooms

Suddenly, in a flash of bright light a girl about Gemma's age appeared with a guy with dark hair and a weird unifrom. They looked around for a second before the girl ran towards Gemma and hugged her.

"What the hell are you doing here Emily?" Gemma asked, confused out of her mind, what the hell was her best friend doing magically appearing in the past with…."OH MY GOD WHY DID SHE KIDNAP TOM RIDDLE!" Gemma then proceeded to punch Emily repeatedly. But Emily blocked her because she thought Gemma had no right to punch her when Gemma was in a house with Ciel, Sebastian, and Grell.

"Hello! Why are you in a room with all character from kuroshitsuji! I kidnapped Tom Riddle because I magically appeared in a graveyard, and found out I was in the fourth Harry Potter book."

"HOW THE FUCK DID THAT HAPPEN?" Gemma asked.

"It's a long story….."

**Inside Emily's Mind...be terrified (0.o)**

Gemma was taking so goddamn long to answer any texts or calls, so I decided to just go over there and break into her house. In the most friendly way possible of course. I broke a window, and since Gemma was too cheap to buy an alarm I just walked in.

It was then I remembered I had a key. Oh well, Gemma would find out later….and probably kill me. Fortunately for my continued existence, Gemma was not here, and I was free to do whatever the frack I wanted. I first walked over to her fridge where I raided it for all the whipped cream she had. After finishing all that shit off I walked into the living room.

Strangely, there was a crack on the wall, like such from Doctor Who. Me being me, I of course walked over there and touched it.

I was immediately flopped into a magical vortex of white and blue snowflakes with pink elephants on them. No I was not high. I PROMISE!

_(At this point in the story, let it be noted that Gemma said she refused to provide Emily with her drugs. Drugs are not cool, and they are not for school. Mwahahaha that rhymed)_ **Something which Gemma would never ever say out loud..**_.Yes she would idiot!_ **NU. Get back to the dAMN POINt! **_Whatever, and capitalize your D! _**Mmmm… That D tho. Stands for… DOCTOR, BITCH! **_Fuck off, my mind story. _**Nu. This is my adventure too! **_Screw off, (uses Occlumency to push Gemma out) Now that she is gone… _**FATE! SHE PUSHED ME!**

I ended up on a grassy ground. I looked around, and found that I was in a graveyard. Tied to a statue of an angel was a boy with messy black hair about four years younger than me in front of an old balding man. The first thought in my mind was. THIS IS KINKY AND DON'T BLINK. Slowly my brain recognized them as Peter Pettigrew and Harry Potter. I started fangirling all over on the inside, and then they saw me.

The looks on their faces were priceless. The bald man was all like, "What the Fuck?" and Harry looked rather hopeful. Suddenly Pettigrew shot a killing curse at me, and instead of letting it hit me, like Cedric over there, I dodged. Look! A dead spare. Cedric was dead next to me about four feet away.

I suddenly got magical ninja powers and roundhouse kicked Pettigrew in the face and knocked him out.

**In actuality, Emily just flopped on top of Pettigrew, like a fish, due to her lack of coordination and idioticness. His head proceeded to hit the head stone and he died. Except not. Just unconscious. My bad. PROCEED YOU FISH! **_Shut up! I do have amazing ninja powers you...you...armadillo! _**Aw! Thanks! But no, you have as much martial arts skills as a limbless frog. **_I will have you know that you are so bad at martial arts that a limbless frog could kick your ass any day! _ **I would say I eat limbless frogs for breakfast but that's disgusting and I don't eat breakfast. And also I'd squish that stupid fishy frog. **_Enough with the random commentating, back to MY amazing story.__**To**_**o bad that's not what happened…. Oh whatever. **

Then I walked over to the caldron and saw gross baby Voldie.I decided that he would look much better if I recreated him in a fangirl's image.

First things first I decided to forego the usual ritual used in the book and make up my own. 'Cause that is just how I rolled. I walked over to the caldron and threw in Tom Riddle Senior's bones.

"Bone of the father, unknowingly given. You will renew your son!" I slash my arm and drop my blood into the caldron.

"May blood of the fangirl renew your hot teenage body and give you the mind of a Ouran high school host club member...particularly Tamaki...with a little dash of Kyoya, just to get that cold-heartedness."

**Apparently this works because Emily is magic 'cause they needed the blood of his enemy! Stick to canon. **_Seriously….none of this is canon!_

At this point Harry is looking rather confused, terrified, and scared shitless. He probably had no idea what the hell was going , I just ignored him and continued working….really this is rather random.

Sparkles and rose petals with a background of pale pink suddenly exploded from the caldron and out of the mist rose Voldemort….or rather a now very hot Tom Riddle.

He looked around, his wavy brown hair is swept across his forehead by a slight breeze. His violet-gray eyes looked into my soul, and I melted a bit from fangirlitis. (**She drooled a lot) **I couldn't believe what I had just done. I think i just single-handedly screwed with an entire fandom...in five minutes.

Suddenly Cedric Diggory rose up from death, sparkling in the sunlight which had appeared when Tom Riddle was reborn in all his hawtness. Cedric then proceeded to mope dramatically and moan.

"What have I become! A monster. I am no longer Cedric Diggory...I am Edward!"

At this moment Harry completely went into shock, "Programming overload," was all he said before fainting.

I was so terrified of twilight becoming a reality in this moment that I threw him through a crack in time.

**You sent him to the universe where he was Edward. You idiot. I have a feeling that this is going to bite us in the ass later on in this random ass adventure which makes no sense. **_OMG! I created Twilight! I must die in a hole now, fall on my sword! Suicide is the answer! Kill me now! _**Actually the answer might be shock therapy. You do not deserve a painless death. I'll pay for your cruel execution through electrical waves! **_You have been threatening me with that for months...it no longer works. _**Unless I actually do it. Then it'll work. And my offer will always stand, you crazy bitch.**

Tom Riddle was standing in a caldron, confused, wearing a Ouran High School uniform. Harry Potter had fainted after Cedric rose. And I had no idea what to do.

Tom looked at me, "My dear lady, what troubles you?"

**I'm pretty sure he said something more like: Drool is pouring out of your mouth… Need a hanky? And some BREATH MINTS?! **_You just jealous that I get Host club version of Tom Riddle, and you got Ciel Phantomhive. _**I'm sorry, you mean I got Ciel, Sebby, Undertaker, all hawt reapers, and all other hot guys in Kuroshitsuji? **_Excuse me? How did you get the undertaker? Me and him are way closer than you guys. _**I met him first. And all of them. I WANT ALL THE GUYS!... I NEED MY INHALER! *Wheezing* **_SO you want a reverse Harem do you!…. _**Hell yes! And you have an imaginary one that you've told me about so shut up! **

With his perfect looks and charming smile I just freaked out and started hugging looked a bit startled, but then sort of just collapsed. "What's wrong?!" I aksed.

"I have done so much wrong…." he said, crystal tears falling from his face. This was too much for me. I decided to screw with the fandom even more. I grabbed the cup, Tom and harry, who was saying, "Rebooting...do not turn off while reloading.."

The three of us flew away is a swirl of color and landed outside the maze. Suddenly I was surrounded by Dumbledore and other teachers. I kicked Dumbledore in the nuts called him a manipulative bastard and then starting hugging Snape, telling him that Snarry is evil, and he deserved Lily.

Everyone looked rather shocked. Except Dumbledore who pretended he knew exactly what was going on but in reality he doesn't know shit. After all, a girl that looked rather like Merida from Brave had just showed up, holding Harry Potter in one arm and a mystery boy in the other.

Dumbledore, still cringing walked up to me, "Who might you and this man be young lady?" he asked in his pedophilic grandpa tone. :3

**NONE OF YOUR DAMN BUSINESS!** _I was just about to say that Gemma….__**I'VE GOT THE POWAAAAAA!**_

"None of your damn business, but I really want to tell you, so…..This is Tom Riddle who I turned into a Host and all hawt. Cedric is now a vampire, but don't worry! He has a wife with no emotions and a kid. Harry here is rebooting. I broke him…."

No one had any idea what to say, so I just leapt through the next crack in time I saw.

_I wonder now what happened in the Harry Potter world…...Maybe Dumbledore died from shock…. __**Dumbledore saw his chance and created the DA then proceeded to take over the world. Loki style. Meaning he failed. Worthless manipulative bitch. (I deleted the last bit because it was majorly screwed up) **__Dear God, you broke my extremely screwed up mind._

* * *

><p><em><strong>End Of Mind Trip<strong>_

"I landed in the world of Black Butler….and here I am now!"

**So basically. RUN! **

**OoOoOoOoO**

**Author's Note: This is again, crack, and I hope you guys all like it...**

**fav and follow if you want another chapter!**


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